Never let go
by videogameandanime-empress
Summary: Riza Hawkeye has always had her eye on her friend and fellow classmate Roy Mustang. When finally entering highschool, things seem to brighten up. But when their lives start to fall apart can they still keep their relationship? Alternate Universe. RoyRiza
1. Roy's Girlfriend

**(A/N) Yeah this really is a far off alternate universe fic but I thought this would be fun so yeah. I dunno how long this'll be but hopefully longer than my previous record (what is it 5 or somthing?). Okay a little reference, Riza Hawkeye and Roy Mustang are 15 year old first years at Takaishi High in Tokyo. **

"Good morning class." Greeted my cheery teacher.

"My name is Miss Ross." She was obviously a morning person. I was not.

As Miss Ross was explaining how wonderful her English class was going to be, several students were chatting about their vacations or something.

Since I wasn't much of a talkative student, I casually just glanced around to see who my classmates would be. I recognized some of them right away. Who could forget Winry Rockbell and Edward Elric. Those two had been together since...well nobody really can remember back that far. Winry was kind of eccentric. Nice. But a little odd. Edward was...well a trouble maker. He was creative, I'll give him that, but he couldn't go a day without getting in a fight.

I looked for more familiar faces. A feeling of relief went through me. My best friend Sheska was in this class too.

"Riza Hawkeye."

"Yes, Sensei?"

Then the teacher began calling off more names. Apparently she was taking roll. I decided to pay attention and not give a bad impression.

Then it happened. She called out that name. The name that made me jump, my whole body shiver, and my heart skip a beat, all at the same time.

_Roy Mustang _

I know. I'm pathetic. I mean I've liked him ever since I met him something like ten years ago or some ridiculous amount like that. I've always been friends with him. We'd done stuff together, helped eachother out, but nothing more.

The thing is, he has no clue. I mean the guy is smart, funny, cunning, and...well...certainly not bad looking either. But he's clueless. Other people have noticed I like him, sure, but does he notice? Nope. But who knows maybe he knows, but he's in denial. Maybe he didn't even want to think about it so he ignores it.

I knew he didn't like me. I knew because of his one flaw...(okay his one BIG flaw) he's a player. Always flirting with more girls. And, of course, they flirted back. I didn't blame them though. I mean, I liked him for YEARS for heavens sake.

The bell finally rang and my group of friends, me, Sheska, Maes Hughes, and of course, Roy, all gathered to talk to eachother.

"Damn Elric." Roy said "Already picking fights with me an hour into highschool?"

"Hm?" I questioned stupidly.

"He was arguing with me during class." He said answering my confused look "He was talking to Winry, and when I told him to shut up, he got pissed. Of course name-calling was involved."

I smiled at Roy "Of course."

He grinned. His half-happy half-devious, grin. It was a cute grin.

"So what classes do you all have next?" Maes asked.

"Geometry." Sheska answered.

"I've got history." Maes responded.

"Japanese literature." I said with zero enthusiasm.

"Really?" Roy said "I've got Japanese literature too."

"Awesome!" I squeaked when I spoke, making my face turn red.

"Let's walk together." Roy said so casually, as if it wasn't a big deal. Oh. That's right, for him it wasn't.

Sheska winked at me.

Roy started to walk off and I hastened to catch up.

I started to talk but nothing would come out. It was probably better that way since I probably would have said somthing stupid anyway.

"So how was your vacation Riza?" he startled me.

"It was okay. Kinda boring." Can't I fit at least five words into a sentence, I got mad at myself.

"Yeah, mine was fun until I got grounded. I accidently set some stuff on fire in my back yard." he said with a mischevious sound to it.

"I'm sure it was an accident." I said sarcastically.

"Heh." Roy laughed.

"Wow so you finally told Roy you liked him? Wow Riza! That's awesome, now you two are together." Lira said exitedly.

I swear I could have slapped her right then. I was mad. Infuriated. Down right pissed off. But apparently my face didn't show that. No, it was the same shocked look Roy's face had as he looked at me.

"You like me?" he whispered his eyes bulging out.

My face turned pink because my face went pale from shock and red from embarassment, resulting in an interesting pink mixture. I nodded. Well sort of. I moved my head as much as I was capable of.

I could hear several students talking surprised about what Lira said. I could feel the rumors already starting.

"So you're Roy's girlfriend?" Alphonse Elric asked.

Alphonse was Edwards younger brother. He skipped a grade though. Al insists Edward would've been able to skip several grades if he wasn't so lazy.

I didn't know what to say. I knew the answer was no. But, I wished it was really true.

"Yeah, she is." Roy answered.

I flinched because I thought he said isn't. But he didn't. He said is. Then it struck me. He said is...

_WHAT THE HELL? _I thought. I figured out he must've sensed how much I didn't want to say no.

"Crap, Riza, we're gonna be late. Let's go." he grabbed my wrist and headed for the class room as I still kinda had a dazed look on my face with my mouth hanging open.

Right before we reached the class room he pulled me around the corner.

"Sorry about that. I didn't want you to say no to them before I asked you out." he said hastily.

"Okay..." I said half understanding what he said "Wait what!"

"Do you wanna be my girlfriend? I mean I've kinda liked you for awhile but... you didn't seem like the type to like me so I shoved the thought to the back of my mind."

I opened my mouth to say somthing but was yet again unsucessful. This time because the bell rang.

The first day of class and I was late. But who the hell cared. Roy just asked me to date him! I was still regaining my conciousness when he spoke again.

"Um, is this to sudden or somthing?"

Realizing I hadn't said yes yet I quickly answered "Yes, I mean no. I mean...I...wanna..." but I didn't get to finish that sentence either, but I didn't mind, because right then, right there, on my first day of highschool, in front of Japanese literature, there I stood being kissed by Roy Mustang.

**(A/N) Yeah I know, not very long but, hey it's a start. I think that's a good way to finish chapter one...plus it's two a.m. right now so...yeaaaah. So I hope you liked it! Please review! Don't worry I'll update soon.**


	2. When Reality Hits

**(A/N) Okay yeah I got some positive feedback on this one so I'm happy. Yay! Okay I'm gunna work really hard...I swear**

Have you ever been so happy, so content, that everything around you just fades away. You're so blissfully happy that everything going on around you doesn't matter.

Well that's how my next four months went. And believe me, I gave a new definition to blinded by love.

Now, you see, me and Roy's relationship wasn't anything really big...it didn't appear to be anyway.

Sure he'd walk me to class everyday (we had three classes together), we'd sit together at lunch (okay we used to do that but now we sat closer), we'd pass notes (kind of a new thing for me), we'd call eachother, email eachother, hold hands, and occasionally kiss.

But nothing more than that.

I'm not complaining though. Believe me, I was grateful as can be, but we never really went out without Maes and his girlfriend (whom he never shuts up about) Gracia.

But there was a problem. You see we had this mid-winter dance thing at school. I really didn't think much of it, sure me and Roy were going, it was a mutual understanding.

Well if when the teacher announces it you look at eachother, is a mutual understanding.

Anyways, I was kind of excited but it wasn't a big deal. The days just kind of faded by and then it was time for the dance.

"Hey aren't you excited?" Gracia asked bouncily.

"Mm...sure." I yawned. I'd spent all night text messaging Roy. Not that I really remembered what we discussed.

"So what are you going to wear?" She asked, obviously wanting to talk about what she had in mind.

Then suddenly it hit me. "Wear?" I cocked my head in disbelief that I had forgotten about a dress.

"Rizaaa!" Gracia whined "You seriously forgot!"

I tugged at my school uniform skirt. It kept bothering me, it seemed awfully short. Maybe I was just picky.

"You HAVE to wear something super-sexy for Roy. I mean come on, even when you're not wearing your school uniform, you're still dressed all... school girl-ish, and you're beyond modest."

It was sadly true, I rarely wore anything besides my khaki pants and white t-shirts. I was pretty much the most boringly dressed girl you could find. However, I was quite proud of my modesty, I mean who would want to be a slut? But then again there are girls that are like Lust. But still...

"Sexy?" I echoed.

"Yeah. I mean look at all the girls that fawn over him. If they're at the dance do you think they'll be wearing a plain dress with long sleeves that goes down to thei ankles with a neckline litterally at their neck?"

"No..." she pretty much got me there. But is that really how she imagined me dressing?

"I'll take you shopping later and you'll love me forever!" Gracia walked off to go talk to Hughes.

I shrugged it off and went back to day dreaming.

--

It started out as a perfect night. Roy showing up at my house, shocked to see me in my dress.

Yes I actually wore something that didn't look like my grandmother dressed me. (Lust used to say things like that to me.)

It was beyond floor length and draped onto the floor gracefully flowing down the stairs (until I tripped a little) and it was completely strapless. A first for me. (I think that's what shocked everyone most.) As for the color I wanted black or white. Gracia wanted anything but black or white. We compromised and I got black and sparkly.

As for my hair... it was down. Yes I, Riza Hawkeye, wore my hair down. It was a true natural phenmenon.

Enough ranting about the way I dressed.

At the dance most of the songs were slow. That was quite lucky for me since I was barely able to move, the dress was kind of tight around the legs. There was some ridiculous reason like 'style' or something.

Anyway, after the dance was over we were walking back to my house (yes we had to walk -sigh-) and it was kind of quiet. Nobody really said much. All you could hear was breathing (don't get me wrong, breathing is a good thing) and our foot steps.

The problem was, I didn't know why we were so quiet. I looked over at Roy only to see a sad expression on his face.

"What's wrong? Why're you sad?" I said breaking the silence.

He flinched. "I was...just... thinking."

"About...?" maybe I was being too nosey or maybe he was on edge but something made him angry.

"Look," he said sternly "I just, I mean. I-"

I gave him a puzzled look and stopped walking. "Wha-?"

"Promise you wont tell anyone?" I nodded in assurance.

He took a long pause. And I mean LONG pause. Long enough for me to just stand there and feel like an idiot. Thinking _Oh my gosh. What if he wants to do somthing. I mean he IS a guy, and he can be kinda perverted at times but... he's not gonna as me to...do it?_

Just as I was getting over my selfish thoughts that it involved me, he spoke "I live on my own in an apartment. My father disappeared one day and my mom commited suicide. So I sold our house and bought my own apartment."

"Whe...whe..."

He answered my half spoken question "It happened during our last break. Nobody knows really. But the thing is, I got a lot of money from selling our house and it's been enough to live on so far but..."

"Hey, say no more." I encouraged him. "I'll talk to my aunt and uncle and see what we can do okay?"

"Alright." he said smiling and took me the rest of the way to my home.

--

"R-roy?" I said trying not to cry. "I-...My aunt and uncle are getting a divorce and...and they're both moving away and don't think they can support me anymore. I'm sorry I guess.. I can't help you... with your money problems. I'm really sorry." I hung up on his voice mail just before I'd burst into tears.

As long as I could remember I'd lived with my mothers brother and his wife. My mom left me to be with them. At the time I didn't know why. Nobody would tell me. But I was fine with that. My aunt and uncle were good to me, but I'd always felt unwanted. Unwanted since my mom had just dumped me on them. Perhaps that was why I'd been so ecstatic whenever I found a new friend, maybe it was something in the back of my mind telling me I was finally accepted by someone.

I was still trapped in my thoughts when my cell phone rang. It was Roy.

"Hello?" I tried my best to restrain from dumping my problems on him.

"Riza? Hey, what's going on? I got your voicemail..." his voice trailed off.

I took a deep breath. "Well since my aunt and uncle are splitting up, I...I can't help you with your money-"

Then he cut me off "That's not what I'm worried about. What's going to happen to YOU."

Suddenly it hit me. I had been so caught up in Roy I hadn't thought about what I'd do next. My only other relative I knew of was my grandma and she had moved to China. _No _I thought _there's no way that I'm going to go with her._

"You still there?" Roy brought me back to reality as always.

"Uh yeah. I...don't know.. what I'm going to do. Maybe I could get a part time job or two and get my own place and-"

"Shit." I heard him cuss into the phone quite loudly.

"What?" I'd been startled.

"That's shit. I'm NOT letting you just go ahead and get your own place."

"But Roy-"

"I'm coming over there right now."

Then I heard that irratating dial tone. He was serious. He was seriously just going to have me live with him.

As I stared at the words "call ended" I knew that nothing good could come of all of this.


	3. Break Under the Pressures of Life

**(A/N) Omg that was so sad. I can't believe I wrote that (yes I just reread my own fanfic because I forgot but now I'm sad cuz yeah it was sad) Anyways sorry for not updating in... well... forever. But hey I promise to make this good alright? ... Okay I'LL TRY to make it good...**

Staring out the window just wishing the misery would end. That's all I could do. There was no way I could sleep. No way I could just close my eyes and feel content again... There was no way I could be happy again... Or that's what I thought then anyway.

After he hung up on me Roy must have dashed over to my house because it seemed as though it was only a few minutes and he was there at the door knocking furiously. I started to run to the door to get it but my Aunt got there first. Not good.

"Who are you? And why are you here so late at night?" she questioned suspiciously.

"I came to take Riza." Roy said bluntly.

Don't even introduce yourself you dolt! I screamed in my head. Sometimes he was so stubborn I could just... just...

"Excuse me?" my Aunt sounded violated.

"I've come to take Riza." He said intensly. It was a scary looking face. But a tad bit sexy too... hm...

"Why?" My aunt was now using a sarcastic and rude tone, probably because she must've thought Roy was disrespecting her or something.

"Because she obviously can't live with you anymore so she is coming with me." he was so serious sounding. So... un-Roy...

"And where do you plan on taking her young man?" She glared at him just as icily as he glared at her.

"To my apartment. Don't worry for her safety. I assure you I love her more than anyone else." That one made me blush. A lot.

I heard my Uncle walking... "What's going on?" he said to me. That made My aunt and Roy aware that I was there. "Oh noth-"

"This boy is here to take Riza away." my aunt said over dramatically.

"And you're going to let him!" My uncle yelled.

"I never said that!" she screamed back.

They started arguing back and forth and I could just feel my stomach churning. I felt so horribly sick. And to think Roy had to hear this too.

"Riza. Get your things." Roy commanded. I nodded in confirmation and turned to go grab my stuff from my room. My Uncle went to grab me but I was too fast. Thank God for ROTC training is all I have to say.

All I remember is frantically stuffing whatever I could into a bag. I could hear yelling and screaming from the other room. My heart pounded in my ears and I raced against time.

All I really had time to pack was my school uniform, a few other clothes, some underwear, my journal (yes I have a journal.. don't worry it's boring), a few books and my hair clip. I knew it was time to stop packing when I heard a bloody murder scream coming from my aunt.

At first I figured Roy had pushed his way through into the house or pulled out his lighter or something but then when they had all come back into my sight I froze.

My uncle had punched Roy, who was now bleeding from the mouth, in the jaw. And Roy just stood there and took it. Not a whimper. Not a punch back. He just stood there with an intense scary look on his face.

He went to punch Roy in the face again when I'd screamed probably the loudest I'd ever screamed. "No! Don't hurt him! Stop!"

Everyone froze and looked at me as I breathed heavily. At first I wasn't sure what was so shocking about me yelling to stop but then I realized they were only a foot away now. Somehow I'd gotted that close to them within an instant.

"S-Stay away from Roy. I love him." my voice cracked. Had I ever yelled at an adult like that? ...Or anyone for that matter? "Don't hurt him anymore." I said still gasping for breath.

"Shut up.." my aunt hissed. My uncle went to hit Roy again. And then at that moment in time I realized something.

They hadn't always been like this. They used to be such nice people. But when times become hard... some people just break down and lose it. And right then I promised myself I would never let that happen to me.

Next thing I knew I was in front of Roy taking the blow. only instead of hitting my jaw it hit my forehead because of our height difference. "Riza?" Roy screamed from behind me. "Riza!" he repeated.

But I didn't turn around and face him. No I stood there and looked my uncle straight in the eyes and hit him as he had me and Roy.

"Only the weak," I said as he cried out in pain "break under the pressures of life."

I think Roy gained a new respect for me that night. I think my Aunt and Uncle did too. But more than anything I gained a respect for myself, that was different than before.

When we'd reached Roy's apartment he finally looked at me... after all that time we were running away from my home... my old home... he finally looked me in the eyes.

"I meant what I had said." he stated firmly. I knew what he meant. He was talking about when he said he loved me more than anyone else... and right then and there... I believed it more than anything.

"I know.." I said softly. "And I meant everything I said too."

He opened the door and we walked into the small three room apartment. A bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen/living room combination. It may have been small, but it felt safe.

"Here." he said walking to the bedroom and pointing at the bed. "I'll sleep on the couch. If you need anything just ask. Good night."

"I couldn't just take your bed from-" "You sleep there. I don't want you on the couch." he said so solemly it made me feel like crying. "But can't we both-" "No." he said "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I know how modest and pure you are and I respect that. I don't want to put you in a situation that compromises that." He walked back out into the living room leaving me speechless.

What was I going to do now...? I sat and stared out the window for what seemed like forever... thoughtless noiseless... I finally became concious of my existance again and soon realized the tears in my eyes were slowly rolling down my cheeks.

When I got the courage to go assert myself I walked out and saw Roy standing in the kitchen looking at something. I soundlessly walked up behind and wrapped my arms around him.

He jumped and dropped the picture in his hand. "R-Riza?" he stuttered. "Roy.." I said on the verge of tears as I saw what he'd dropped. It was a picture of his mother. I was certain.

"Roy... please don't be sad." I have no idea what was going on. My mouth just talked on it's own.

"Wha..?" he was just as confused as I was on the inside.

"Please.." I heard myself say aloud "Don't ever break like they did... don't do that to me... I know I'm being selfish but..." My voice had taken control of my body...

"I would never..." he said turning to look at me "intentionally hurt you."

That night, it was true for both me and Roy, that our hearts had over taken our weak minds... even if it wasn't for long we both needed it.

**(A/N) Such a weird ending oO. Anyway at least I updated. I dunno if it's any good or not but please please please review. I'm begging here okay? Inflate teh ego! Inflate my ego with reviews dammit!**


	4. Emotional Scars

**(A/N) Ew... That last one was so fluffy it made my eyes bleed when I reread it! Anyways I'm on an updating spree (yes yes I can hear you all screaming 'FINALLY!') But yes this fanfic is doing FAR better than I ever thought it would. Really. I've got some interesting things to throw at Roy and Riza this time so look out!**

**Disclaimer: If I really did own FMA I'd be writing some lovely WinryXEdXRoyXRiza OAV's. I kid you not I will do a fanfic like that one day.**

"Is it true?"

"Are they really living together?"

"What do you think they're doing? They're only in highschool!"

It wasn't long before the rumors had begun to spread throughout the entire school. Three weeks from the day I'd moved in with Roy, that night of angst, I was now dealing with the opinions my peers had of what I was doing.

Of course the fact that not very many people cared to hear the actual reason that Roy and I were living together didn't help. Rumors were enough to satisfy them. Though we weren't completely cut off from everyone else, people kept their distance. Roy's popularity diminished fast and I knew it was my fault.

I'd gotten a job at a restraunt not far from the apartment so I could work off what I owed him.

We still had money left over from when he sold his house, so he continued to tell me how unnecissary my working was.

Lord knows how he'd managed how long he had on his own. Only Roy Mustang could've pulled off a stunt like he had, living on his own and hidiing it from everyone.

My newfound job of course had stirred up the talk of us more than usual.

"Oh my...:" Gracia said looking at me shocked.

"What?" I said flatly, looking at Maes standing next to her.

"I... I heard about why you got your job Riza..." she said sounding sympathetic.

"Because she's a stubborn mule who thinks she needs to make money?" Roy chimed in with his sarcasm. Like me, he'd been rather down lately.

"No..." Gracia looked at my stomach. "I heard about your... baby that you're going to have."

My eyes wide I stared at her. I would guess Roy was doing the same but I had no interest in bothering to check. I was too interested in what SHE had said.

"You know, after highschool I was thinking of me and Gracia having a family of our own... looks like you got a head start on us though huh Roy?" Maes saidd jokingly.

Suddenly it hit me. I hadn't corrected them yet. I'd been in so much shock I forgot to yell.

"WHAT?!" I shrieked. My delayed reaction echoed.

Gracia put her hand on my stomach. "GRACIA!" I yelled, my last nerve had been got on. That was it. The whole school was going to be set straight. "I'm NOT pregnant! I'm NOT going to have a child! In fact I've lost weight because I've been cutting back on buying food and-" I stopped my rant to look over at Roy.

He'd heard. I didn't want him to know that I was trying to save money by eating less. "You what?!" he demanded. "I-" I began to talk but really, why bother, the man was a lunatic.

"What the hell are you thinking?! Don't worry about money! Think about yourself!" He yelled in my face.

"And the baby!" Maes added.

"THERE. IS. NO. GOD. DAMNED. BABY!!!!!" Roy had lost it. I'd pushed him off the edge. I'd always wonder what it'd take actually.

"Roy Mustang." a firm, mature voice called from behind. A teacher... I realized and looked over to see Mrs. Curtis motioning towards Roy.

He slowly let his boiling blood simmer and walked over to her. I watched as they talked and he ran back over to me.

"Look," he apologized "I hafta stay here after school, apparently I've disruppted the halls for the last time." he mummbled "I'll see you later."

"I'll wait." I said calmly.

"Huh?" he looked startled.

"I won't go home yet. I'll wait here for you I promise." I stated loyally.

He smiled and ran off to wherever Mrs. Curtis had gone.

After about ten minutes of pondering I'd realized why he'd smiled. I called the apartment home. I'd never done that before.

Breaking me from my deep concentration, a cold voice spoke to me "Riza?" he said.

I looked up and recognized him instantly. "Greed?" I incquired. Greed was bad news, he made my stomach churn but I burried the emotion keeping a straight face.

"Riza Hawkeye," he said stepping closer to me "I havn't seen you seperated from Roy in awhile... what you up to?" He said in a way that made me flinch. "I heard you got a job recently." He looked me up and down. "I bet you get lots of tips.." he whispered, still intending for me to hear his remark.

I continued to glare. I'd wanted to yell at him for his sick mind but I stood my ground. "Hey doll," he said getting only inches from my face. I stood perfectly still. My eyes locked on him. "Let's have some fun."

He put his hands on my waist and on impulse I kicked him in the shin, darting away. "Ah come on don't be like that." he jumped in front of me. His reflexes...were inhumanly quick I noted.

He continued to grab at me and I'd punch and hit him, and, without any luck, try and get away.

My final attempt in vain he pushed me to the ground and held me down. "Come on, scream, it makes this more fun."

Though I'd never admit it to him, I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream and run for my life. But something deep within my mind wouldn't allow me to. Perhaps it was that I was petrified with fear.

He went to kiss me and I jerked my neck, just in time for his lips to hit the ground rather than my face. He spit the disgusting taste of tile out of his mouth and said "Alright we'll skip the romance."

The instant his hands were undoing the buttons on my shirt my body went spastic. I twisted and turned and jolted enough to throw him into the wall. I breathed heavily as I used the last of my strength to hobble to my feet.

My eyesight was blurry and I couldn't understand why Greed wasn't attacking again. I tried to use the opportunity to scream my lungs out but my voice wouldn't work.

Suddenly I could hear it. The loud cursings and the words "Don't ever touch her!" were breaking the sound barrier as Roy continued to slam his fist into Greed's face. Over and over.

After that, things were really blurry. I remembered Mrs. Curtis showing up, checking out the commotion. And then Roy taking me home.

I awoke screaming "No!" at the top of my lungs that night. I whirled around to look at the clock at the bedside. "One in the morning?" I read aloud.

"Oh now you scream." Roy mummbled.

I looked over at him wondering what he was talking about. Then it hit me. It hit me hard. I closed my eyes and all I could see were distorted images of Greed assulting me.

I clenched the blanket laid over me as it all replayed in my mind. "No." I repeated over and over. I looked down at myself seeing my shirt still unbuttoned and my skirt torn.

It wasn't a nightmare. It was real.

A single tear rolled down my feverishly warm cheek and almost instantly I felt an arm around me.

"Roy..." I whispered as he gently stroked my cheek "I was...so scared... I thought he was really goint to... to..." my hands balled up in fists again as I fought back the sad emotions.

"Calm down." he said soothingly "I'm right here. And you know I'd never let that happen." he said so seriously I had doubts it was the same Roy who I'd know a year ago.

"Why am I so pathetic and dependent..." I asked him burrying my face in his chest.

He sighed and put his hand on my back. "You became dependent on me when I became dependent on you. Because I couldn't handle the way my life was going on my own..."

I looked up at him pleadingly.

After a few moments of silence I watched him as he buttoned my shirt back up for me. He looked at my arm that had gotten scraped from the events prior to that night and wiped it off. "Here," he said in a monotone voice, "I'll get some medicine for that."

Roy you really are an amazing person... a person who I believe can even heal emotional scars.

**(A/N) Ugh well it's midnight and I have school tommarow. I'll post this and be on my way- HOLY! Oh my gosh! THAT WAS LONG! ... I'm in shock of myself. That was long! Not much happened though... okay yeah actually a lot did. But still.. I'll be updating soon don't worry this isn't the end. -Smiles- As long as you keep reviewing!**


	5. Take a Deep Breath

**(A/N) I'm SO sorry I haven't updated in awhile! I mean, for some reason all I've been writing is Ed and Winry stuff. Anyways, I'd liketo dedicate this chapter to winglessfairy25 who said things about this story that made me think that writing fanfiction isn't so pointless after all! If my fanfiction helps at least one person feel better, it's totally worth it! Thanks to all my supportive fans.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned FMA... it would never end. Mostly because I have a terrible time updating things, think of how bad if I were writing manga... ew, deadlines.**

It wasn't long until I started hammering away at my already falling apart life. I'm not proud of the things I did, I made foolish choices and paid for them in full.

Our financial problems built up until I couldn't take it any more, I'd reached my breaking point, something had to be done. I dropped out of highschool. I was only a first year, sixteen years old, but I dropped out.

It was something I contemplated might happen, but I'd always shrugged it off like it was nothing, because it wasn't going to happen. Not to me. Or that's what I thought.

For the past few months my grades were slowly slipping, and the pressure I was putting on myself was so immense I had to do something...

"Riza!" Roy yelled the way he'd been repeatedly doing all morning, every time I got that specific look on my face. I covered my mouth and raced to the bathroom, the taste of vomit poisoning my throat. Roy chased after me, pulling my hair back just as I hurled into the toilet. "Riza!" he continued in his frantic cries, "Something's wrong! We're going to the doctor, now!"

He'd been at it all morning, after I'd announced I was dropping out of school to get a full time job, Roy rebuked me... that is, until I threw up on him. After that he'd been in worried mode all morning. Of course I wasn't that worried seeing how I'd been getting sick constantly since my stress level hit it's limit.

"I'm fine," I said in a voice that wasn't too convincing.

"Riza, you've been putting yourself under too much stress, you're making yourself sick!" he saw right through me, despite the fact that I'd been trying to hide it.

After much more arguing, Roy slipped up and accidently said he, too, had been planning to drop out. In my surprised state, he managed to drag the reluctant me to a doctor.

After filling out repetitive forms, and surpressing vomit, I was finally seen by the doctor. After telling her all the symptoms I had, she asked me some questions, most of which I had trouble answering.

"I'm sorry, I can't really remember..." I said pathetically, "There have been so many things going on..."

"Like what? Are you having problems at home?" she asked curiously. Then, it all spilled out, I wasn't quite sure why, but I was telling her everything. From moving in with Roy to dropping out of school. I couldn't control my mouth it went on and on until I had to supress more puke inching up my throat.

The doctor scribbled a few things down on he clip board and looked up again, "Can you remember when your symptoms first started occuring?" she said as if I hadn't been ranting the past ten minutes.

"Sorry, no..." I said distracted.

"Are you sexually active?" she asked calmly.

"What?!" I squeaked. My voice cracking from my shock.

"When was the last time you had sex?" she said in a serious, almost frightening manner.

"I..." I could feel my face burning up, "I've only... once... we..." I mumbled incoharently, thinking of the one night... Roy and I just got carried away. Not long after I'd been sexually assaulted, one night, I dreamt of it again. Only worse. I woke up cryinging, and he tried to calm me. It just wouldn't work until I looked deep into his eyes and asked him to help me forget.

The whole scenario brought tears to my eyes, I hadn't intended to, but I... I clenched my fists trying not to cry tears of regret. I had to be strong.

The doctor spoke again, "Miss Hawkeye," I looked at her face, "I don't mean to alarm you, but I think you may be pregnant."

"Wh- what?" I asked trying to stagger to my feet, failing miserably, "I... I can't be pr... I can't..." I started hyperventalating.

"Miss Hawkeye?" the doctor said alarmed. And that's when everything went black

After gaining my conciousness again, I could hear Roy speaking in a low, rough voice. "Three months sounds right but... but are you sure?"

"I ran some tests, I'm positive." the doctor said in a morose tone, "I'll be back in a few minutes, hopefully she'll come to soon."

After the sound of her footsteps disappeared my eyes flickered open, Roy was sitting on the corner of the bed I was lying on, watching me.

"Riza..." he whispered, probably trying not to startle me.

"Roy," I sat up dizzily, "I'm sorry..."

"Wha-..." he began, "it's not you're fault. I was the one who-" he explained, but I cut him off.

"It's not just that." I started raising my voice, "It's everything, I'm so, so sorry. I ruined your life... If it weren't for me you..." I couldn't finish. I felt sick again, but not in the same sense as before.

"Don't give me that bullshit," Roy gently moved me toward him, "you're worth more than anything to me and you damn well know that." he said harshly, just as he pulled me in for a quick kiss.

After we pulled away I stared at him a moment, "I don't know what to do." I said softly.

"You can abort it, if you want..." his words trailed off. I thought for a moment. We couldn't raise a child, we could barely afford to support ourselves, I didn't want to have a baby at sixteen, but... "I..." I looked out the window, and then back at Roy, "I can't" I stated firmly, "It wouldn't feel right, preventing someone elses life, just for the my own sake..." I closed my eyes tightly.

"Sorry," I started sobbing, "I'm so weak... crying at everything..." I stuttered.

"Nonsense..." Roy said in a less intense manner, "you're the strongest person there is. Any other girl would take the easy way out and abort, but you put others as a priority over yourself..." he wrapped his arms around me, "I love you..." he whispered into my ear, making me cry even harder.

How much longer was I going to drag him down? I took a deep breath, everything was going to be alright...

**(A/N) Wow.. that was very... not like my fanfictions. At all. I dunno if anyone will like that or not. I didn't think it was that great... but whatever. Maybe someone else will. Review please. Sorry if you don't like it... I'm not sure what I think of it really.**


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